On the Monday we went on an ‘around the island’ boat trip from Skiathos Town. The first stop on the trip was Lalaria beach – turquoise waters surrounded by white pebbles and a photogenic rock arch – the saying goes that if you swim through it once and you’ll meet the love of your life, swim through three times for eternal youth.

Lalaria arch

Swim through two times and… meet Jim Morrison? There was the rotting carcass of a dead seagull on the beach and it seemed the pebbles may have been white due to the amount of seagulls shitting on it. The noisy feathered twatsers detracted from the otherwise tranquil surroundings. The pebbles were uncomfortable for sun-bathing but great for skimming.


Second stop was Kastro the old capital of the island. The old town is in ruins up a steep path, so we went up and had a neb, getting very sweaty in the process. Some mentalist had a bike up there and was clad in lycra cycling gear and helmet. ‘Helmet’ was what I was thinking. We only had time for a cursory look around and then we had to turn around and head back down to the boat. The schedule seemed a little less than generous for this particular stop. We both spotted a very convincing James Corden amongst the passengers.


Third stop was Kati Yorgi on mainland Greece, where we had lunch. There were three tavernas on the beach front and we opted to go to the one furthest from the one recommended by the crew, awkward buggers that we are. We got served very quickly and I had grilled sardines (which I have to have at least once per holiday) and a massive Mangum ice-cream for pud-pud. There was a giant Mr Whippy style dog poo on the beach which despite possessing its own gravitational field was not stepped in by anyone, although there were a couple of flip-flopped near misses. I sat on a rock and monitored the situation while Siggy sun-bathed.


We then cruised back to and around the south and east coast of Skiathos in the boat looking at all the beaches we’ve visited on previous visits and some we were yet to get to. There was a gigantic yacht moored off Koukounaries which some people were saying was Goldie Hawn’s and others were saying was something to do with the Prime Minister of Oman. I opt for the second explanation. It looked like something off a Bond film?

NEWS FLASH! – The big yacht (Al Mirqab) is A-league boat Hollywood. Belongs to the PM and Foreign Minister of Qatar and remains one of the top 3 largest private yachts ever built. (Thanks to SL)

The weather was calm with only a light breeze and so the Aegean was unruffled and neither of us felt seasick. The boat was called Kalypso, the crew were very friendly and the trip was very reasonably priced when booked directly with them at the New Port in Skiathos Town. I was a little disappointed with Kati Yorgi as a lunch destination – I should’ve taken a book with me – there’s not much to do there after you’ve eaten beyond sit on the beach. As a whole, the trip was really enjoyable and a great way to get a good look at the island. here’s their board –


A young man of impeccable taste was wearing a pair of near-identical red and blue striped Onitsuka Tigers at bus stop number 4 – I say ‘near’ – mine have seen better days (originally retired to decorating duty and temporarily forgotten and housing spiders in the garage) and were originally destined to stay in Greece at the end of the holiday. As it happens I couldn’t bring myself to ditch them quite yet. I took two pairs with me – I had a dark blue striped pair for ‘smart’ that I bought in Aberdeen. Siggy seemed to have packed a whole shoe department into her luggage and brought a collection of footwear for all occasions that Imelda Marcos would have been proud of.

We had tea at Vareli’s in Troulos with a cheeky bottle of Rose. At Victoria we had another item off the cocktail list and watched Pedro bemoan the coffee machine. He seemed to enjoy making cocktails but had a distinct aversion to coffees. We skipped Tiffany’s in favour of Chris’s for a Pink lady (Siggy) and Sex on the Beach (me). I watched a bit of rugby in 3D but it was a bit too much like a pop-up book for my liking and rugby really doesn’t do anything for me. I watched silent but subtitled Coronation Street instead, Ken Barlow is still AWOL, ate Bugles, nuts and tried to stay awake. Fresh air + Wine = early night. I still had some odd-shaped Wotsits left; I realise I am not a big Wotsits fan. I hate the way they go starchy and stick in your teeth. I like the way these minor things seem more significant when you’re on holiday, it’s a good sign that other troubles have been at least temporarily forgotten.

Chris has yet another girl helping him behind the bar called Joanna. It seems like a different one each year. I can’t remember the one from 2009 and the one featured in ‘Broken’ does not correspond to any real person.